I met a woman on a city bus named Maude.
I stuck my gum under the seat in a ***.
She called me a sod,
I gave her a nod
and said, "it's 'cause I don't believe in God."

At the time, I know I was smilin'
in an effort to appear so beguilin'.
My beliefs, I'd been filin'.
Subjected God to no trialin'.
Others shoes, I never thought to walk a mile in.

Dear Father, who art in Heaven,
Is my faith but in Armageddon?
If I see no leaven,
I'll gather my brethren,
and return to the Seven Eleven.