I'm tossed about by the winds and the waves
Between me and who You're calling me to be
I want to be a slave to the One who has saved
But I rather not do what I crave: sit comfortably
I had created a world within my mind
To retreat to the darkness behind my eyelids
My head shipwrecked on what land I could find
Welcome to my wrists, I also call my islands
Even now, I'm drowning myself in my emotion
Between the tidal waves, I'm just rowing alone
I'm creating islands to rely on in this ocean
Open my eyes so I can sense the undertone
I wrote this one about a week ago as well, along with "Distress Call". I've used the metaphor "blink" to represent letting yourself be dragged back to the darkness. Metaphorically, when we close our eyes, we see the darkness behind our eyelids, or the dark side of us. And for some reason, although we would prefer it wouldn't be there, that dark side of us is attracted to it. I've used the ocean to represent our emotion several times before, to show how vast our thoughts can be. When I let my sinful nature take control of me, I turn to these idols, or islands, rather than God, letting these trials and suffering (the winds and the waves) overcome me rather than relying on God as my strength. The islands represent me taking it upon my own self to deal with my emotion. I go back to writing to put my trust and hope in this stronghold, or the islands. I call them my wrists, because I write to help me deal with the pain, and that can be dangerous when I do that rather than handing it over to God. I'm learning how important it is to hold onto truth and lean on God's wisdom and strength. As Paul says in the book of Romans, there are two laws at work within me: the law of the Spirit and the law of sin and death; I must choose which one to be a slave toβeither I go back to the nature of sin and death, or I deny myself and my own desires to put God in His rightful place in my life and rely on His Spirit to take hold of my heart and transform me. I am weak, and in my weakness I must depend on the Spirit to guide me and overcome the temptation to revert back to or bow down to my sinful nature. (Read Romans 7:7-25)