I’m going to wrap myself up as your present
in bows and pretty ribbons.
I’m going down to my local post office
and get myself a little green sticker.
I feel the excitement in the air getting thicker.
I’ll have my own special number.
Just for your convenience,
as a woman of heart and lenience.
And when I arrive at your doorstep
you’re going to have to sign on the dotted line,
before I can claim you as mine.
At that precise moment when the delivery guy leaves
you’ll take me in and unwrap me with impish glee.
I hope you like your present.
I put a lot of effort into it.
I’ve been waiting all year just to give it to you.
Please take good care of it.
It was the last one; and it doesn’t come with a refund.