What this has done to me is hard to explain.
words fail to do its destruction justice.
Afraid more of yourself than anything else.
paralyzed by the fear of the next episode.

Like the weather is always cloudy in your head.
the numbness has officially set in.
There is no such thing as calm and relaxed.
there is only stressed and attacked.

Night is when it gains strength and power.
the unseen finds it easy devour.
Strength and energy fails you.
nothing is left to support you.

Black is all that you can see.
fearing if you open your eyes what there will be.
Tremble and shake.
for the heat your body won't make.

It's terrifying to me.
something no one should see.
I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
its torture until it's done.

Something makes you hold on though.
something saying don't let go.
Even when you're giving in.
hope remains however thin.