I blame you.
I blame you for my tears and the nights I couldn’t sleep and keeping my heart I loaned to you.
I had hoped for yours back, but no.
I blame you for the dark clouds above me when the sun was trying to peek out from behind.
But I know I can’t blame you for the fact that I wore my heart on my sleeve.
Don’t deny that you didn’t see it.
Everyone did. Everyone called me out on it.
Everyone knew I loved you.
But it’s not as easy as you might think, loving you.
I can’t keep up with all your games.
And, I’m starting to have this feeling of abhorrence towards myself.
How can you hold a grudge against yourself?
Can’t you help what you do?
Yes. Most of the time.
But I can’t help what you do.
And what you do makes me love you.
But when I tried to tell you, I felt mocked.
Because the way you acted towards me was more than friendly.
I was almost sure of it.
Almost.
I felt stupid for falling for your idiotic game.
I felt like all I was, was a prize you didn’t even care about winning.
And I loathed myself for falling for you.
But I’m not perfect, and I still love you,
No matter how much I deny it.
I’m sorry I’m not what you were looking for.
I’m sorry I wasn’t like the perfect girl you are enamored with.
I’m sorry I laugh too hard at all your jokes.
I’m sorry I love your curly hair and your unattractive glasses.
I’m sorry I’ve loved you for the best part of my life.
And I’m sorry I still do.
And even though I know I shouldn’t,
I blame you.