My ex-boyfriend is moving back to town, so I better stop eating like a hog and looking like a clown!

The way he broke my heart, I still can't find the words to explain.

I'm going to have to throw these chips away and start eating everything plain.

It's been 5 years, and oceans of Coca-Cola's later.

I need to wire this mouth shut,I am always hungrier than an alligator.

My trunk has swelled to epic proportions, it's going to take the strangest contortions into getting fit.

I feel like an elephant in every chair I go to sit.

I know he doesn't miss me or my wit.

Every joke I ever told him, I had to explain it.

The last time he set his eyes on me, the fire department had to remove me from spying on him from his tree.

The handcuffs of the police hurt, but not as rough as he with my heart.

Things had gone so good when we did start!

The number of restraining orders are making my apartment looking like I am a hoarder.

So when he sees my **** body from the distance the court has ordered me to stay from him,

I just know his heart will swim back to me.

And I will be sitting in his tree.

Because, we were meant to be!