Early morning the world still sleeping,
The only sound was the birds singing.
My meditation and solitude was broken
With the sound of the phone ringing.
My heart sank quickly at the words I would hear.
Somehow I already knew, A deep breath I held.
Closed my eyes to see the picture my head drew
Your color fading quickly
Red, purple, blue and then grey,
Your hands were clenched around your throat
The panicked look on your face,
You were gasping for air as if you had choked.
The Present and Afterlife were starting to collide,
Life’s memories brought peace as you laid there and died
Then a blank stare
Your eyes a lifeless glaze
Your last moments had passed
You’ve reached the final phase
Thinking back on our conversation,
Accepting death you confessed
Acting as if I supported your decision was the ultimate test.
The mental block was successful,
I gave you a warm smile,  I hugged you so tight & walked away
Out of your site, I fell to my knees and began to pray.
Sobbing…
My arms holding my stomach at the news that came over the phone,
Cumbersome
My regrets of keeping it inside, you believed your decision to die was condoned.
If I had it to do all over again, would the outcome be the same?
My decision of you not to worry about me partly to blame?
A few days have passed, as I stare at your final resting place.
I feel a breeze & close my eyes just to picture your face.
A tap on my shoulder “My Condolences” I hear.
Pulling my knees tightly to my chest & used my shoulder to wipe my fallen tears.
I nodded my head to the stranger, the same warm smile I gave,
As they stared at the fresh dirt that was laid upon your grave.