My older sister told me that the first rule of life is self preservation-
And I am learning that.
First step for me is saying thank you...
To my ex who thought I was a punching bag instead of his blessing
Thank you -
You taught me how to strengthen my mind with these rhymes when you told me that I would never be good enough.
There's more beauty in resilience than endurance
cause you were losing your mind and I was running out of time.
To the preacher who thought I was too tainted and missed the God in me
Thank you -
You taught me that your past is a lesson and the fact I survived mine is a blessing.
To the one who thought that the part between my thighs wasn't a gold mine
but rather a field of lilies that you thought you were worthy enough to pluck
Thank you -
You taught me how to heal & to be whole again-
and that forgiveness is a level of deepeness that I haven't quite conquered yet.
Fear should be the 8th deadliest sin
because with fear you can't win
and that's all us brown girls know how to do.
You taught me that your actions do not make me inadequate
& that I can't quit on this journey for self love
because of you, now I rise above.
I'm afraid that I put them under the impression that I was made to please them
& that's crazy because I was under the impression that they understood me better.
Well PSA..
The first thing you should know about me, is that I am not for you-
A lot more will make sense after that.