Weather beaten cap'n,
     and watertight bewitched craft
time tested since maiden voyage
     (circumnavigating the globe
back in the day
of my youth),
I ranked tough as a pitbull,
     when severely pitted

     against raw elements
     of swiftly tailored,
     harried stylish nature
     against leathery faced
     reptilian skin, hard drinking
(actually as corked
poetic convenience - vermouth
arbitrary bottle of choice

     if for no other reason,
     than to rhyme
     with the above line),
and tobacco spitting, while

colorfully swearing as an uncouth
Furies (of Agamemnon) fighting (tooth
     and nail) Pirate,
     where rickets, scurvy,
and thrice unconscious,
currently ample proof
could not forsooth
bring me to

     Davy Jones's locker,
     cuz I never wanna
get relegated to an underwater
whale schooled booth,
this raconteur can nonchalantly,
glibly, and blithely attest,
with braggadocio, despite
no warm welcome will

     ever greet mine tinnitus
     pained ears, I can plainly
imagine acrimonious retort
upon me behest
his far more'n lifetime
bobbing (like a sponge)
buoyed atop crest
longing e'en for

     (carping, caviling, hen pecking,
     or shrewish) wife,
     and loving family
forsaken, sans living
antisocial upon briny deep divest
many opportunities to
experience wedded, webbed
and whirled bliss,

and hence for everest
as bachelor, especially
     at present junction
     of twilight years,
     my crude manners
makes foreign (for
an) ill suited guest
boot e'en if yours truly

     became inured to life on land,
(as a "FAKE" father figure
feathering his nest
my coarse behavior, as basic
electric koolaid acid test
     would force even

the most tolerant proprietor,
perhaps a bank
manager at Univest
would utter VAMOOSE,
     e'en if eye covered up
my heavily pierced,
and tattooed breast.