i'm terrified of seeing you again.

and it's very different because it only ever brought me joy

because i would see the happiness and joy in your eyes


and i'm terrified that i'll just see hatred
towards me


for hurting you
but i would deserve it.


and you deserve to be happy. i wish i could
erase all the pain that you are feeling

and hold you again


but i can't

because i chose to let you go.

this loneliness is so difficult


and i miss you.



but being strong for yourself is better than being weak for someone else.