ive rolled blunt after blunt, just thinking of her.
ive been exhaling clouds of worry into morning fog and into clear night skies,
20 after 20 and dime after dime,
and how ironic that i got her questioning me why.. she reminds me all the time about how bad im out of line.
hearing certain things slip from her mouth kills me inside ,"when im gone" "you should know" and the knowledge of fate,
this hunch that i must learn the lessons of life now before its too late,
to marry, and have a baby for she whose womb will be taken away,
  sweet mother whos nature runs wild and deep,  but father time can be unkind and of little help to me..
a feeling so true that it would surely be the death of me.
time just stresses me.
and the rage in my soul is much too heavy, a heavy heart and a heavier head filled with ****, with pills, with doubt and with regrets,
things i wish i had done, and **** that was never supposed to be said,
but swear to God, if i could Rhonda, i would make it be me instead.