Dec 2018
No matter how much i tried to hate you, I couldn’t.
I tried to forget you after we stopped talking because of her. I could have blocked you and get it over with.
No more broken heart.
No more pain, no more you either.
The thought of not having my heart broken was rummaging in my mind. It seemed like a great Idea, but the thought of no more you made me sick to my stomach. So I didn’t block you.
I thought that even if we did not talk, I was content with just seeing your name on my snap friends. Just when I thought were done, you texted me.
Believe me when I say my heart stopped when you said you think you still loved me. But I knew not to be a fool and believe you. Even if I want to, even if it is true, I can’t believe you.
If I believe you I’ll fall in a hole that I don’t think I’ll be able to climb up again. It hurts me not to be able to call you beautiful and I know that i will end up doing it because you are.
You are beautiful.
You are kind and adorable and everything in between but I can’t tell you. I had to make up a way for you to stop, or hate me at least so I told you I was talking to someone i liked. Which was not entirely true because he does like me but I ignore the **** out of him but I had to lie. I wanted you to hate me. But you didn’t. Instead you told me you were okay with it. How can I make you hate me after that? You didn’t seem upset so I saw no point in lying to you. So I told you the truth. That I think i'm a rebound.
And yeah maybe Im not but I don't believe that. For example, the first time you flirted with me after you started texting her was when you guys were on a break. I thought it was weird but I didn’t say anything because I’ll take you anyway I can have you. Then we stopped because you guys were planning on fixing things. Then the second time you texted me was when you and her decided to be friends. So how do you think that looks? It makes me feel like I was just there when you needed me. Just when you weren’t with her. I love you. I love you so much and even though I had a second chance, I didn't take it because I can’t do that to myself. So I just been dry in hopes of not slipping up and flirting with you. Like you once told me, “You are too late”. Even though i love you, you are too late . I realized maybe we just don’t ever belong to each other. We are meant to never be anything more than friends.
I tried to forget you after we stopped talking because of her. I could have blocked you and get it over with.
No more broken heart.
No more pain, no more you either.
The thought of not having my heart broken was rummaging in my mind. It seemed like a great Idea, but the thought of no more you made me sick to my stomach. So I didn’t block you.
I thought that even if we did not talk, I was content with just seeing your name on my snap friends. Just when I thought were done, you texted me.
Believe me when I say my heart stopped when you said you think you still loved me. But I knew not to be a fool and believe you. Even if I want to, even if it is true, I can’t believe you.
If I believe you I’ll fall in a hole that I don’t think I’ll be able to climb up again. It hurts me not to be able to call you beautiful and I know that i will end up doing it because you are.
You are beautiful.
You are kind and adorable and everything in between but I can’t tell you. I had to make up a way for you to stop, or hate me at least so I told you I was talking to someone i liked. Which was not entirely true because he does like me but I ignore the **** out of him but I had to lie. I wanted you to hate me. But you didn’t. Instead you told me you were okay with it. How can I make you hate me after that? You didn’t seem upset so I saw no point in lying to you. So I told you the truth. That I think i'm a rebound.
And yeah maybe Im not but I don't believe that. For example, the first time you flirted with me after you started texting her was when you guys were on a break. I thought it was weird but I didn’t say anything because I’ll take you anyway I can have you. Then we stopped because you guys were planning on fixing things. Then the second time you texted me was when you and her decided to be friends. So how do you think that looks? It makes me feel like I was just there when you needed me. Just when you weren’t with her. I love you. I love you so much and even though I had a second chance, I didn't take it because I can’t do that to myself. So I just been dry in hopes of not slipping up and flirting with you. Like you once told me, “You are too late”. Even though i love you, you are too late . I realized maybe we just don’t ever belong to each other. We are meant to never be anything more than friends.
