so there’s this boy.
and for a long time, we loved each other.
it was nice.
really, nice.
but it was my first.
and my last.

even though
he shredded me to tears,
and pierced through my emotions,
used his words to threaten me,
it was amazing;
before that happened.

i wonder if you ever find this.
and if you do,
thank you.

there’s still so much i’d want to tell you that i can’t say anymore since
you don’t want me around anymore.
and i know it’s been around 2 months.
but 2 months has felt like a year.

and if there were a day
where you talked to me again
i’d take every chance to
make it up to you.
just like we promised when we were together.

even though
you don’t believe in my promises,
i still have them in my head.
still holding loyalty and trust to you.
even though
you’re gone,
my head decides to hold onto you
hoping or thinking that you’ll come back.

knowing you,
you probably wouldn’t. and i respect that.
but if you
do come back,
then i welcome you.

and i know we wouldn’t be the same as before if you did come back.
i’m fully aware.
yet if we could somehow be friends?.


i’m sorry that i’m rambling about you.
it’s just hard for me to figure out everything, you know?
i still don’t know what to do about you.
and i’ve wandered to this silly site to find some sort of comfort.
i’ve been wandering since you’ve been gone.
i haven’t found a place to go to.
but i suppose if i keep wandering,
maybe i’ll end up somewhere.
in someplace.
with or without you.