You wake up in a dark room on the second floor of your grandma's house like little nightmare's you imagine yourself on a ship floating on the ocean marked nowhere //cut scene// you've written 2 of these poems, now there's a third? //end cut scene// you pull up your phone because it's a room in a room your heart doesnt feel like getting up soon the bright screen hurts your eyes, the time displays welll past noon //cut scene// are you writing this just for the book? or do you actually want to write this // end cut scene // you pull up instagram where half your feed is soft core **** like Smino sings, bam bam bam you know you're quite love lorn and the emotions these ****** energy stirs, you're only attracted to all this because it's love fast served it's love where people are most willing to take and give, sure there is work involved in the play but there's always some form of satisfaction at the end of the day doesnt matter if the person means nothing in that moment the hugs and kisses mean everything in that moment, the reality is the visualization of a want built till and for the end of your own dramatification in that moment, you're two people who are willing to care and work for each other and there's the open interpretation of that situation there's no need for verbal communication jus translated sounds of pure emotion food for the soul is there a need for advocation //cut scene// who's even gonna buy the book? who the **** are you that people would want your book? // end cut scene // you roll on you're side bright screen in your hand you're closer to the edge of the bed now just one more step get up childddd get up do your work why is that so hard just get up
and after a few more rounds of that, you do you go to the bathroom admire yourself and feel the urge to poo TMIIIIII I know but who caressss you dont do it anyway, you just stare at your stare few minutes past, and the thoughts and ideas your brain has been churning gets to you you feel the charge to create and do so you move your *** out of the bathroom slowly, but you do
you check your phone again, nothing you hoped there would be anything to make you feel something your brain registers the memory of you in the mirror you looked good today there's that at least but this self love just feels like you're yourself, pulling yourself on a leash
//cut scene// *******. this poem is getting long. no one likes long poems stop writing go do your work *******. go **** why you sitting here writing useless things. noooo one's gonna buy this book. you're doing nothing in the end // end cut scene //
They say the most important thing is self love as long as you love yourself there's nothing truly bad in the world that can stop you and hurt you because you have yourself put yourself on a pedestal because there's nobody else who'd do that for you, who'll love you like you and that's ******* true but when you're the only one who loves yourself and you find it hard to trust anyone's truer intentions when you feel like only you see your worth is your worth valid to only your own opinion if only you love yourself there must be something wrong with you if not why wont others care or at least bare with you
//cut scene// ok that was harsh. should it even be in the book. it might scare people. but you want this to be raw right so I suppose it's worth being this vulnerable. // end cut scene //
anyway you're downstairs now, typing this you genuinely do want to **** but you dont want to deal with it you want to go out and walk around take in the sounds of humans vs humans vs nature pound pounding into your heartbeat and maybe you wont feel so down you're craving nicotine and maybe a shot of gasoline straight to your heart it's 5.30pm you havent eaten as usual, why you so weak, you keep letting yourself fall apart it's 5.30 pm you have assignments for all of your classes to work on but you're so stuck in this reality where you gonna find the strength to carry on but you put yourself in this reality what's to say you wont leave yourself here till dawn do you want to move or do you want to ponder about the many things that are wrong
let's end this like the other two just to keep up this tying element of poeticity that they don't teach in school eternal impressions in your heart, these scars that mark your depression.