You have been letting your life slip past you
Let it flow in between your fingertips
Like it was made of water
Just watching it slip by
With dull eyes that use to be amber
You are unmoving most of the time
Blank stares and tired expressions
Are only ever interrupted by bouncing twitches of fear
That are not rare
But not quite frequent enough to make up for the emptiness
You are sure of nothing
You know nothing
You are unable to perform simple tasks
You are defective
Wasting away
Unable to live
But just scared enough to be unable to die
So you sit
So you watch
With a blank worn expression
Watching your life run away from you
With twitching fear your only reminder
That you are still breathing
You are not sure of who you are
You are not sure if you can live
You are not sure if you know your own name
You are not sure if you can die
You are not sure if anything matters
You are not sure if you have meaning
Do you have meaning
You want to have meaning
But you are broken
But you are defective
Can you even have meaning
Perhaps you lost it long ago
Perhaps you never had it
Because perhaps the world knew you would end up like this
Dull and lame
Watching your life disappear
Who would waste meaning on someone like that
And still you sit
And still you watch
Defective
And fearful
And longing
A part of you longing for meaning
A part of you longing for life
A part of you longing for your love
A part of you longing for death
All of you longing for something you cannot have