I want but true affection
rather than that
produced by guilt

desperate to stay one
you succumb to old habits
and donate no reassurance

i doubt
in cycles
and I am at the top of the ferris wheel
i see the land
and not the man next to me

am I more than just a variety
of frozen food and prepared meals
and the occassional agressive "ive missed you"
exhaled between kisses

i am acustomed to your familiarity
and your soap scent
and harsh tongue
your lashes at my best men

but you are calming
but you are rough waves

i am tired of being brushed against the shore
i should be the ocean