Nov 2018
Pounding traumatically hard. A wave of heartaches chokes my tears. I feel like tying myself to the rough metal railroad tracks. Some fear that will overcome my sadness. Feeling like there is no place to go when you’re now alone. I wish we’d never fight. Things are always better when his arms are wrapped around me and there is only.
I take a hit after a hit and cry a river. My heart soothes and pictures start to move. A black hole erupts out of nowhere as it tries to **** me in. I hold onto my armchair trying not to get ****** in the blackness. The nothingness. My fingers slip off and I’m spinning in. I fall to my knees and my eyes widen. I quickly look left and right, all around me. As I freak out, I fall on my back. I try to sit up and hold myself. I feel like I just got hit by a train. I see a little light floating in front of me. It comes closer as I reach out and touch it. Suddenly I fall into mid-nothing and hit my head off a sandy rock. I look beyond my views and see a far hot dessert. 40 Celsius of heat slapping my face, I feel the soft sand hug my feet and hands. Hills and hills of sand and rocks.
I spot an opening of a cave and walk towards it. The walk through the hot beaming sun made me sweat a shower. I felt a cool refreshing breeze come from the dark cave. I start walking through this never-ending cave. I’m terribly thirsty. My head feels like a feather made of thorns. I look up and smell water and see another light. I wobble and trip my way through the cave. At the end of the cave, I peek out and see leaves on the ground. A slimy snail, the size of my fist blocking my way. I stumble over it. I look up and see wines and trees twisting 30 stories high. Big birds flying over and around the huge tall waterfall. I ran and jumped in the water. I quenched my thirst, as the tropical fish swam around me.
A bunch of crowing birds caught my attention as I saw him standing on the rocky mountain steps. He stared at me, waiting for me to run after him. I did. Every step I made was useless to his speed. Walking through the waterfall cave, I suddenly trip and slip off the edge of the cliff. I cried for him to help me. I called his name, and he stood there. Didn't bother to help me. He said he loved me but I let go. I fell and fell. When I hit the pointy rocks, everything blacked out, and I awakened. I sat in a hospital bed, he laid on top of me and started crying of relief. He looked at me with perishing pity and I gave in to it. He repetitively said that he loved me but I didn’t give in to that. I cried and ripped off the strings and patches on my body that he brought me to. Loneliness creeped up only when he stood around. I was better off in my slumber. I was better off with the truth. I was better off when the bitter love didn’t break me. I was better off with near silent winds on the warm sandy beach where my toes would hide away from the heavy space less atoms. Hear my heart when it stops. Hear my voice when its silent. I’ll get out alive.
I take a hit after a hit and cry a river. My heart soothes and pictures start to move. A black hole erupts out of nowhere as it tries to **** me in. I hold onto my armchair trying not to get ****** in the blackness. The nothingness. My fingers slip off and I’m spinning in. I fall to my knees and my eyes widen. I quickly look left and right, all around me. As I freak out, I fall on my back. I try to sit up and hold myself. I feel like I just got hit by a train. I see a little light floating in front of me. It comes closer as I reach out and touch it. Suddenly I fall into mid-nothing and hit my head off a sandy rock. I look beyond my views and see a far hot dessert. 40 Celsius of heat slapping my face, I feel the soft sand hug my feet and hands. Hills and hills of sand and rocks.
I spot an opening of a cave and walk towards it. The walk through the hot beaming sun made me sweat a shower. I felt a cool refreshing breeze come from the dark cave. I start walking through this never-ending cave. I’m terribly thirsty. My head feels like a feather made of thorns. I look up and smell water and see another light. I wobble and trip my way through the cave. At the end of the cave, I peek out and see leaves on the ground. A slimy snail, the size of my fist blocking my way. I stumble over it. I look up and see wines and trees twisting 30 stories high. Big birds flying over and around the huge tall waterfall. I ran and jumped in the water. I quenched my thirst, as the tropical fish swam around me.
A bunch of crowing birds caught my attention as I saw him standing on the rocky mountain steps. He stared at me, waiting for me to run after him. I did. Every step I made was useless to his speed. Walking through the waterfall cave, I suddenly trip and slip off the edge of the cliff. I cried for him to help me. I called his name, and he stood there. Didn't bother to help me. He said he loved me but I let go. I fell and fell. When I hit the pointy rocks, everything blacked out, and I awakened. I sat in a hospital bed, he laid on top of me and started crying of relief. He looked at me with perishing pity and I gave in to it. He repetitively said that he loved me but I didn’t give in to that. I cried and ripped off the strings and patches on my body that he brought me to. Loneliness creeped up only when he stood around. I was better off in my slumber. I was better off with the truth. I was better off when the bitter love didn’t break me. I was better off with near silent winds on the warm sandy beach where my toes would hide away from the heavy space less atoms. Hear my heart when it stops. Hear my voice when its silent. I’ll get out alive.
