until my best friend overdosed on the landing at the top of my stairs

and she cried and cried and screamed and she had nightmares for weeks and we slept on the couch until the dark by the bathroom wasn't so scary

"I never want to see you like that"

but I guess I had other plans
and she cried and screamed and she threw things at me and I was evil, so evil I think I hollowed out my chest to make room for the bad, the poison, the death of myself (and ultimately our relationship)

and I tried to die on purpose a couple of times, but never the times I was with her.
but there was nothing sweet left of me and she was so tired of drinking from my bitter lips
and breaking ribs

so playing at death's doorbell isn't cute anymore, it makes her sick to her stomach and I have the videos to prove it

but now all the bad stuff is gone from my body and my chest is still empty because I packed up my mangled heart and patch quilt lungs in your trunk of things and i never see you anymore
and I don't know how to call you and say that I need it all back