Nov 2018
A letter to myself before I identified as polysemous.
1. The idea of meeting a stranger and only defining them based on what they mean to you, and not the relationships you already have is thrilling, and honest, and joyous.
2. The pressure of needing someone to meet all your needs is lifted, in this their is freedom. Take the time to feel it.
3. You will have more people who love you, love is endless and you don't run out. You can love an expansive number of people... their is always more water in this well.
4. Nothing will prepare you for the moment you realize you are capable of loving two people at once.
5. Nothing can prepare you for the moment you realize he can only love one.... and its not looking like its you. You will cry. You should have seen this coming he was never good a multitasking or balance.
6. although truth is usually your friend, you will find days that it is to hard and to brutal. He will look at her in ways he cant at you any longer
7. You can feel alone in a sea full of strangers or a room full of people you have hand picked... it depends on your feelings. On others smiles.
8. loving him as he slowly fades will be hard. Not regretting your choices in some moments might be too. But don't punish yourself for being capable of loving at such a great capacity... If loving was a Olympic sport you would have gold.
9. Actively shaping your life and customizing it to you is what its all about. Think about your needs. You matter too.
10. Its okay you still love him. Its also okay to love Chris. Its all going to be okay.Its hard to see now but their is reliance is spreading out your love. Its loving to limited and too little that you need to worry about. I love you too.
1. The idea of meeting a stranger and only defining them based on what they mean to you, and not the relationships you already have is thrilling, and honest, and joyous.
2. The pressure of needing someone to meet all your needs is lifted, in this their is freedom. Take the time to feel it.
3. You will have more people who love you, love is endless and you don't run out. You can love an expansive number of people... their is always more water in this well.
4. Nothing will prepare you for the moment you realize you are capable of loving two people at once.
5. Nothing can prepare you for the moment you realize he can only love one.... and its not looking like its you. You will cry. You should have seen this coming he was never good a multitasking or balance.
6. although truth is usually your friend, you will find days that it is to hard and to brutal. He will look at her in ways he cant at you any longer
7. You can feel alone in a sea full of strangers or a room full of people you have hand picked... it depends on your feelings. On others smiles.
8. loving him as he slowly fades will be hard. Not regretting your choices in some moments might be too. But don't punish yourself for being capable of loving at such a great capacity... If loving was a Olympic sport you would have gold.
9. Actively shaping your life and customizing it to you is what its all about. Think about your needs. You matter too.
10. Its okay you still love him. Its also okay to love Chris. Its all going to be okay.Its hard to see now but their is reliance is spreading out your love. Its loving to limited and too little that you need to worry about. I love you too.
