11/13/12* I don't know what I would do if I lost her I think I would start by retracing the steps she took to find herself Get to revisit all the places that she's visited to build her character Find myself in each place she found her calling Calling back memories to the rims of her eyes I want to see all the places she's seen And try to outline them with my corneas And dilate her thoughts with my pupils Try to recollect every tear that was fallen and for what reason In her palms, I want to find my self in the things she found in her palms What psalms she grazed with her fingertips Find out what fire sparked sparks in between her snapping fingertips That tipped her closer to insanity Find out who she found herself in hands held, but hearts closer than her fingertips That tipped her closer to be sane All to the first hand she ever held Her mother’s. If I ever lost her, I would find her mother. And thank her for also giving me a life Ask her what it feels like to have a daughter that’s the barren of Laughter, sanctuary, and comfort. Ask her what it feels like to have a daughter Whose made so many connections That brings strangers together with just her smile Thank her mother for building a home for me too, *** I never asked her too. “I found myself in you.” If I ever lost her… I would lastly lose myself in her poetry. Bury myself six feet deep in her journals And cover myself with her words Decipher her metaphors line by line Be engulfed in her personifications Allude myself to her smiles Become caved in her hyperboles And pump my veins with the ink she used to flood pages I want to lose myself in her notebooks and become stranded in her Poetry. Her poetry is something to remember To be retraced to find again and again. If I ever lost her, I would find her again and again In her poetry
I found this writing in my journal. It's inspired by a mixture of amazing women in my life. My best friend, my mother, my grandmother.