Well, to start off with
The title doesn't make any sense
It's either way too long or just too short
And there just wasn't  enough suspence

You forgot to capitalize your letters
You better keep an eye on the flow
You're telling the story way too fast
Or, I'm sorry, it was a little too slow

Your spelling is just simply awful
A little punctuation would be nice
The words you use are too simple
You're saying the same thing twice

You don't even know what a syllable count is
I don't know what you're trying to say
There just isn't enough emotion
It shouldn't have ended that way

Your rhymes are too repetitious
There's simply no rhyming at all
You really need to practice your typing
Your font is always too small

You really need to start all over
I'm sorry, this one had me snoring
You must be haunted by writer's block
I find it a little too boring

I guess everyone has their critics
It seems like they're always annoyed
But our poems aren't written to please them
They're written to be enjoyed