.i haven't been told by my cohabitants to put the music... that's so ****** embarrassing, esp. if the music is trans-generational, like the album welcome to wherever you are by INXS... why is it embarrassing? you're caught up in enjoying something, and the opposite side of the "argument" is not that it's ****** music, but it's a bit too loud... but what you're going to do, i need some time experiencing a different medium, while a device's battery is charged.

my, my my my, what an interesting article
in today's saturday times magazine
supplement...
                 for all the alt. media criticism
of the legacy... i still gravitate toward
a decent newspaper article now and again...
to balance the ingestion a little...

the article?
    what men are really thinking
  (and why they'll tell a chatbot and
not a human)...
wow...
   what a plethora of worries...
commons themes?
not going to the gym,
going to the gym too much,
not enough ***,
not being tall enough,
not having perfect teeth,
existential dread,
Instagram,
   general ******* in
the current year,
          financial demands,
living back at home with
the parents,
   wealth & appearances,
female expectations
about sharing chores,
women not being eager
to cook,
     **** as subsuming
lack of *** / #metoo movement,
arguing over political issues,
females thinking
  male problems are "problems"
i.e. jokes,
     not feeling wanted,
worries of ending up alone,
not planned pregnancy,
not earning enough for retirement,
saving money for a house:
but not living a life of meaning
beside the bricks & mortar,
divorce,
     cheating girlfriends
  (and not having a problem with it),
a bigger ***** and bigger hands,
growing bald,
    death of mothers, of fathers,
women watching too much t.v.,
having stretch marks
and loose skin after weight-loss...

wow... what an array of problems...
well, for the last one?
you can only achieve weight-loss
without these side-effects
in two ways...
     a decent amount of time...
6 weeks...
         a good diet, notably?
fruit for the evening meal...
   and... NO GYM...
bicycle... or swimming...
   i chose cycling, and the odd pop
to the pool...
why? those are calorie evener(s)...
toning...
                when you swim
you use your entire body...
when you cycle?
           we are talking about your legs...
what major organs are
in your legs?
   muscle skin and bone...
you can't get stretch marks on your legs!
and what is primarily
about the gym? upper-body...
major organs... hence excesses of skin...

what keeps up at night?
some decent music...
  and one of my "girlfriends"
   (yes, that' a metaphor):
either ms. amber (whiskey),
marquees de bourbon (Jackie boy)
and there was a third...
i keep forget her...
but there is a fourth...
  oh god, she's an absolute *****!
i go drunk nuts with her...
we throw racial slurs are each other,
because she's Russian, you see...
and i'm just a dumb Polak...
  who is she? ***** Natasha...
or Nikita...
                   i rarely remember her
real name...
   and she's a stealthy *****...
i need just an excess of her to feel
the pinch of her teeth on my tongue...
*****!
               me and Nikita don't work...
(INXS - back on line)...
sure... i worry...
    i have large hands... i'm tall...
so... bigger *****?
   what for? i'd look for a girl with small
hands...
   but then again...
why look?
    if philosophy taught me anything
is that...
               well... philosophy can provide
the perfect delusion...
that there is a woman out-there...
and she's the ideal woman...
           an ideal, a Sophie, a Sophia...
and you love her deeply...
       that was my thinking before i started
reading philosophy,
while i was loosing weight as
a teenager...
    now? my body returned to its
former bear shape and posture...
slightly overweight for my height...
but, "overweight" like those guys
     at the Olympics in the heavyweight
division of classical wrestling...
if you have a body image issue:
just watch the Olympics,
you actually need different height
to weight ratios to perform certain sports...
you don't have to look like
a football ballerina - and sensitive
like a French footballer (that's
an insider saying, if you watch football)...

oh yeah, losing weight worked,
i received the attention of girls for
about 3 years...
   and for the most part?
it brought me nothing but trouble...
notably with one...
big ******* trouble...
so i decided to drink my way out of it...
out on alcohol related weight...
problem solved...
  if all that work to get a woman's
attention brought with it so much
*******...
               might as well go back
to feeling comfortable in my own body...
don't women do that anyway?

and if i reach the point in time
when i'll loose the roof over my head?
**** it, kamikaze.