**** lies zing constipation
     nothing to poo poo about,
cuz when bedeviled by
     colorectal obstruction
     without wasted doubt,
that malodorous,
     malevolent malady
     analogous to uranus

     clogged with grout,
whereat no heroic
     efforts break loose,
     the severely obstructed bowel,
thus spurring determined,
     desperate derriere plea
     for proctologist sought
     to relieve constipation

     equipped with a special
     "J" shaped, hooked,
     and designed dowel
in an effort
     to pry stoppage
     jamming up human cloaca,
     where rock solid stubborn
     immovable **** emits foul

gaseous emanations accompanied
     with *** a nine growl
followed by red hot,
     fiery excruciating spasms
     shooting jagged pain
     inducing yours truly to access,
     the werewolf within howl,
where a preference for sciatica,

     would be pleasant reprieve
along heinie kin cheeky jowl,
     thence finding me
     resorting to peeve
hush scream therapy,
     which wrought nothing,
     no pain did re: leave
me bummed out ***,

     but veins snapping,
     popping, and crackling,
     oye how aye did grieve
plus a bajillion
     gallons of perspiration,
     while lower gastrointestinal
     agonizing torture didst cleave

entire abdominal
     area please believe
without aforementioned crisis,
     and feeble poem,
     I could not achieve.