i never would have guessed I would want to change everything
tear my lists, maps, and plans out of the notebook
and fill their place with letters
lyrics, little poems, and love
I would do it in an instant
But I don’t
Because I’m afraid of paper cuts
And the tears and blood that they bring
So for now I’ll just leave them
All my plans, safely in the book, their sharp edges far from my fingertips
And I’ll read your beautiful words over and over again
scribbled passionately in the margins between neat lines that predict my future
And I’ll recite them as I walk, drive, sleep
And I’ll wish you were there in those moments instead of just your words
And I’ll wish I wasn’t so afraid of paper cuts