Sometimes I'll fantasize
Imagine what would happen
If you just spoke up
Got in my face
Told me how you really felt

The you I see in my head
I placed him on a pedestal for quite some time
Sweeping it under
Away from that place
Sometimes the you I imagined
He'll reappear from time to time
And I'll even see him in flickers
Like when you came in
So comfortable
Opened and handed me a beer
With a wet kiss.

I wonder what time will say about us
5 years from now
Who you'll be
Where I'll be
My hair long and healthy
Longer than yours.

The new one tells me how he thinks of me
He says I'm unlike anyone he's met before
He wants to talk, discuss
Our *** life
I struggle just to talk
Just to talk with you
Though you claim
You always want us to be on the same page
I know you do
There is just often a quiet barrier
You told me the last time we made love
That it's broken when we touch
That this is something special we shared
I remarked as we were falling asleep
That every week I try to run off
And every week you convince me to stay.

This week I think I won't run off
I'll just breathe through it
Like I did among the warmth
Want and need much less
Even though it's brutally cold
Even though I don't want to live here
Sometimes
Even though I feel lots of fear

Why bother with it

Why bother with it?

Be here.