I guess
It's my duty to express
Unpopular opinions
But
The only man I want
Leaving things
In my stockings
Doesn't wear red
He doesn't have a beard
And he's not fat
He's my Guy
With top shelf
On sale
For half price

I only know
Two things about
mistletoe
1. I've never parted
My mouth inside of
Its shadow
2. It would probably
**** to smoke

I don't need no fancy christmas trees
With lights, and stars, and hypocrisies

I've got hybrid harlots creeping
Down into the pink of
My cigarette kissed lungs