Everything I eat burns.
I must choke back lies,
swallow them whole.

And I feel guilt settling in the lining of my stomach,
for things I know not of.

But I know I am not well.

I can feel it in my flushed cheeks
and swollen belly.

I am pregnant with the feeling of misery and exhaust.
I am disgusted with myself.
And do not remember how to breath.

Every night,
each nightmare is a new one.

I am woken from my sleep,
the back of my throat burning,
my stomach retching.

I’ve been drinking oceans,
to set back these tiny fires.

I know no better way to put them out.

My dog scratches my face,
I wake up.