Looking past Gilman St.
and looking across the
Bay to the indescribable
beauty of winter's hold
on San Francisco, I
couldn't help but
think of the world I
had forsaken to come
here and the troubled
life I will soon be leading.
Free of any masters, free
of God, free of judgement.

This old VW van is full
of smoke, full of hope,
and also full of memories.
And as I recall this we drive
past a small accident. Only
a fender ****** but there
still is a woman crying
in the rain. I imagine she
is not crying because of
her baby's health, which
appears to be fine, but
because of the hand she'll
to dip into the college funds
that she set up for her
daughter to pay for
the damaged. Not the
damages on her car,
she can live with those,
but the damages on the
2012 Ford Focus she
bumped into.

And I imagine that 16
years from now when
the now a baby girl
applies to Berkeley
and gets in her mother
will have to tell her that
although she got in, their
is no way they will be
able to afford to send her
there. The daughter says
I know mom, its more of
a pride thing. The mother will
then remember how she had
said nearly the same thing
to the daughter's father as she
kicked him out.

Later that night, she will
drink half of a fifth of *****
and take seven 200mg Vicodin.
She will not write a note. Just
as she will not wake up.

Berkeley will give her daughter
a full ride scholarship. Not because
she is the most qualified student.
Its more of a pride thing, they won't say.