To have hope is to stay up all night
In the arms of a boy you just met
And have him smile at you
As if he means it

It's to keep checking your phone
Because he said he'd text you
And to believe him
Until you can't

It's to come up with all sorts of excuses
As to why he hasn't spoken
And to play back the night
Over and over again

It's to make yourself keep wondering
If you should let it fade and die
Or hold on a little bit longer
Or shoot yourself, maybe

It's to battle your own common sense
To deny what you already know
To grasp too tightly to a
Flimsy
*******
Fantasy
That maybe he actually did care

To have hope is to be poisoned
To have hope is sickness
To have hope is to feel pain