well....
  (enter a pseudo-nervous laugh,
ever so shy on paranoia)....
if you're going to play
that sort of game...
        better meat, yes, meat
me, not meet me in my local
bastions...
                 see you in the thick
of night, in the forest,
                        rummaging
your way through a lurch of
fallen, autumn leaves
you get to equate to perfume?
come over here,
come these parts!
    what, you're ***** whipping
me out of the "contest"?
you think i haven't walked
these parts?!
             two squirrels fair way...
what?
  you tell me...
i'm done explaining what
is better explained by *******...
and firemen...
     and a Promethean concept
of fire...
               riddled down
by a most confusing role
of the minor role of being employed...
no wonder why i write..
videos...
   the hey-day,
of the rental days...
Godzilla...
      VCR... and the equipment that
came with it... JVC...
Blockbusters'?
**** me...
                        they still exist
at the dead-end of
the Central Line...
  Loughton...
                  i can't even comprehend...
how you can write a history,
with such immediacy of
nostalgia being intact...
you can't write a history
with such an impeding nostalgia,
a nostalgia,
that's trans-historiological -
a nostalgia that's less about the times,
but more about the technology,
of the times...
a hammer is a hammer is a hammer
is a nail...
         that doesn't change,
unless... well... originating it with
a bird's beak, and pecking...
different story...
  history has become revamped,
escalated,
expediently escalated from the birth
of Nintendo...
      even earlier, Atari...
manga cartoons overtook the point
of Disney...
we don't live in times
of post-history...
we've already had out atheistic phase...
atheism was the 20th century...
what we've inherited from
20th century's atheism
is... ahistoricity of the 21st century...
after all...
history was the romance
of the concept of time...
so before the romancing of space dies...
before all the tourists
settle the ****, down...
tell me what's on the bucket list of
"things" to die?
in the 19th century philosophers
and poets were nostalgic about
Ancient Greece (Nietzsche,
  Hölderlin)...
                     me?
vaguely nostalgic of Kant...
  but... **** me...
1990s music...
          i'm nostalgic about the time-frame
that constipates a lifespan...
the past 30 years...
and come to think of it...
by reducing history to a nostalgia...
i'm dragging time along with
me, ushering in a phase
of the most competent advent of
a fusion of mortality with death...
i am...
   seemingly...
   a perfected chapter,
within the confines of an imperfect book;
and i am not alone in
perfecting the crass craft,
also considered, life.
- but that's beside the point...
can you imagine people prior to us,
being nostalgic,
of their own selves,
just years prior?
no other people have been
nostalgic of, "themselves"...
not in their lifetime...
    in the 19th century the Germans
were "nostalgic" succumbing
to Ancient Greece reminder "psychosis"...
but we're the people...
who, with all the progress,
are nostalgic, concerning
only 10 years prior...
   which means...
    for whatever advancements...
we're basically hitting our heads
against a cul de sac...
since, by now...
it's a claustrophobia's worth
of history...
   19th century America?
it's no longer a nostalgia...
it's a fantasy...
                   i can't believe i am nostalgic
about what was circa 25 years ago...
then again i'm not
that much nostalgic...
       but at the same time i cannot
enforce a faking of dementia,
i can't synthesize an amnesia;
the kiddy element isn't there...
but sure as **** the technology
wasn't there to begin with...
we dug holes in the ground,
and threw marbles around,
we played hide and seek...
while the girls chalked the pavement
and "danced" the tic-tac-toe!
and the girls would jump the skip-rope!
and we would actually watch
MTV for the Queen videos...
and the Shakespeare's Sisters video...
now...
   this sort of ******* should be
written by someone aged 70...
i'm 32...
                    so... go figure what's up.