I am so furious, still so angry.
But nothing to direct it at.
Five years gone, I can’t believe it.
Five years I’ve known you won’t come back.

And I don’t believe in God, which makes me even madder.
Not another life where we’ll meet.
Five years ago I lost you.
Five years since you left me.

I can’t see you, can not hear you.
What if I lose more memories?
Five years without my father.
Five years you’re an absentee.

I’m so filled with rage, but for whom?
I want to punch and scream and yell!
Five years you haven’t been here!
Five years I feel unwell.

But sometimes, if I’m lucky,
In my dreams we are together.
Maybe five years more are needed.
In five years I’ll feel better.