oh man... do i have to? do i have to buy
into this: "last resort"
atheistic, secular, religiosity nuanced,
genes first 21st arrival at Darwinism
*******?!
                                     no, i don't thank you...
i have eclectic tastes, sometimes the odd
"thing" happens, and i'm not bound to reading
a book and listening to music...
         fear of death... sure...
isn't that an ontological prerequisite?
the fear of dying alone...
   sure...
         wait...  don't have a twin brother /
sister...
      i learned to play on my own...
once i caught myself self-conscious,
with plastic figurines of superheroes...
  thinking to myself...
you sure there's a +13 label attached to
these things?
hayley quinn videos... dating...
               dates?!
what, like the speed way to date?
you her £110 pounds and you **** for
an hour?
         what's this poker brigade... eating...
drinking, getting to know each
other *******?!
whenever i watch this sort of video
i become... peckish...
   i start to think about what the ****
i will cook tomorrow for dinner...
luckily i already know what i will
cook for dinner tomorrow...
but what i don't know is what i will make
for lunch...
          dating... that's a western thing,
yes?
                  i've been on maybe two
dates...
            one included walking out
of the cinema early...
which was fun...
  and the other, having already ******
and slept a night together:
going to a seafood restaurant...
and being on student loan money...
paying for the whole thing...
  fun fun fun...
     desperate people looking for
more desperate people...
i become desperate when someone
robs me or a blank canvas outlet...
borrowing from Dumas:
the best advice, is to give no advice...
sometimes i'll become heretical
on this pointer...
but Athos was right, or rather:
Dumas included:
             to give advice,
is as bad as not challenging an opinion...
there, i "said" it...
        to give advice,
is as bad as not challenging an opinion...
why?
   the whole monstrosity of schadenfreude...
and these people "thought" they
were fighting "the Germans"...
they were fighting themselves...
it's a Germanic trait of characterization...
schadenfreude...
  perhaps somehow unorthodox...
some of us Slavs...
do what can be best done in such situations...
****... what the **** is it that we do?
whatever the collective does...
i've found that...
    neither pity nor shaming nor
poking fun suffices to encompass
an empathetic observation...
        to be sympathetic is to also be
in the same position of observation,
as also being observed...
empathy can only be, what it has become,
an amnesia, a desentized "conundrum"
of postscriptum feelings...
empathy has become a theater of apathy...
there's nothing apathetic about it
beside the delayed feeling of guilt...
but there is everything much ado
                               concerning... the theatrical.