so knumb to get up!
weak and threatened
to leave the house.
leave the house to face reality.

keeping my pain to date,
made me think i was strong.
to leave or stay,
was left in a conundrum.


i thought i had it in me
to get through it,
but the harder the challenges,
the more i feel my soul
leaving my body.

no family! but with family!
just me in this wicked space!
Am weak and helpless!
tormented and traumatised!

Courage gets me back up.
it never fails me,
because i can now open the door,
without fearing reality.

At the moment, 
no matter how much
i miss my family
neither tears nor sadness
can bring us back together

I have no choice
but to take a deep breath
and get back up!