That it’s a beautiful blessing that we forge
tDo you think I am safe now?
Sweetheart, you have to remember.
You have to! You have to!
You cannot just sweep it under the rug,
You cannot just sleep through it, and hope to wake up like it’s just a nightmare.
Sure you can pretend like it was,
Oh, just don’t kick stones.......
don’t kick stones!
They said so many times in my life
To
“drink more, it’s fun, we have a whole bottle, we’re going to take another sip
Keep sipping until you finish it”

But one sip was dead to me,
How can we call things like
“I think I got *****, last night”
Our divine pan, our destiny
Because every single day
I am praying to god that
I can forget all of it and release the tension that always seems to rest inside my skin, my skinny, my over eating
My swelling heart, overriding all
Of the hate, that I could have felt
Just showing me all I am is love
All I am is love, and nothing else
My sweeping up old memories
Has made a really mess
And I am so overwhelmed
I forget I am safer than I was
When this was life we had no
Idea that dreams can excuse the things
That hurt me most, and I think man’s message to the world is,
I will hurt you, and you will love
And once someone told me,
“Nobody really wants to hear about your problems.”
I guess it’s true, this one is one
That most everyone would feel
So sick from, it would be the hardest
Truth to chew through
I drank too much of the truth serum for you to be able to sit and listen, and chew
And he dragged me me through the doorway
As my friends watched me, and I begged them to help me my hands were grasping for the doorframe
This is the one of the first times as a young girl that I really fight for my life
Held on for as long as I could
And I’m watching them on the ground
Laughing, they don’t know any better
I think I remember them wanting to help me
But they couldn’t help me
I guess they couldn’t help me
I don’t remember
I don’t remember the rest
I don’t want to remember the rest
I woke up with my pants off
And next to him,
He grabs my hand to touch his personal “at attention”
I feel the same anxiety,
It paralyzes me, even now
I have flashbacks
I have panic attacks
Remember, she was on the kitchen floor

Woke up,
forgetting ,
paralysis walking
waking seeing,
every day remembering
Even more
I wish that
I didn’t remember that
Gracie, how beautiful ?
I forget
Crazy, beautiful