like bringing a broom to a *******
romance...
great idea... considering that
you might be dealing with the dust
of an ex...

why are maine **** cats...
so ******* clingy?!
what's up with this breed
of domesticated bonsai tigers?
huh?!
        can someone explain to me
why they're so... so...
soppy & clingy?!

    ******'s on my bed... curled up
into a shape that best resembles
the xenomorph logo for the Alien
movie...
and i'm like...
              please just get me a
rottweiler...
      i want the jaw-snapper...
last thing i need is a girlfriend,
first things first...
         i need a dog...

something originating in
the Germanic eugenic breeding process...
a rottweiler,
but i'll settle for an Alsatian,
or a Doberman...

              like... it's itching me to
write this...
i don't want someone to have *** with...
i want something to wrestle with...
i can already tell you how i'd go
about neutralizing the snapper...

L...
     what?
                        Γ....
index and thumb finger...
extended... what do you get?
depends on your Copernican interpretation,
north is south, south is north,
north and south aren't really
either "north" or, "south...
  
   and you shove that shape into
the dog's mouth... right past all the teeth,
i ******* have to look this bit up...

you put pressure on the... ha ha...
hyopharyngeus of a dog...
  with a wedge...
akin to the L or gamma...
          shape between the protruding
extension of the space between
the index and the thumb fingers...
you lodge that, past all the teeth?
the dog starts choking...
or imitating choking...
a bit like putting on horse blinders
on horses to make them steer straight...

you shove that L into a dog's gob...
he begins with an unconscious
reaction of imitating swallowing
his tongue, his lasp...
i'm presuming that's how wolves
were tamed...

well...weren't the Huns who figured out
how to best ride a horse,
the barbarians who overcame the
Ancient civilized people with
the invention... known as the...
stirrup?!

        but that's how you tame a dog...
you L pressure the hyopharyngeus muscles
of a dog's gob...
   so it falls into a fit of choking
on its tongue... which it will not exactly
swallow...

   a bit like... a bit like what horses are
tamed by... the curb bit...
  god... i never fall asleep thinking about
having *** with two lesbians...
i'm thinking about wrestling with a rabid
German breed...
  
   what sort of loser requires 72 virgins...
i'm like the crazy cat lady on earth,
translated into heaven...
the crazy dog loner.

oh look... you didn't think that's how
you'd subdue a dog... shoving a massive
L shave of the hand down it's snout...
so that there's the either-side-of-the-snout
connection of the hyopharyngeus....
smile... smile *******...
let me see you choke.