and as i sit here in this bed
and write a poem instead of my english essay
i ask myself how i got here
because there was a time where my nights were filled
with sorrow
with pain
with stress
with regret
and now they are filled
with pride
with smiles
with dedication
with effort
because i put time into what i do now
instead of just do it
and i really don't know if i did that before
or maybe i did
but it didn't mean that much to me then
because what is the point in doing something if the meaning behind it has already been lost
or maybe the meaning was never even there
and so yes
i will write my english essay
but first
i will write this poem
because this poem means something
and right now
i want meaning