I ponder the theme of my existence more often than I probably should
Am I here to just breathe? Am I here to do nothing more than just....ponder?
In the cool darkness of the oncoming autumn air, things get a little more lonely than I'm used to.
Maybe I'm reminded that just like the season, I will come and then go.
I wish that needing someone to share this loneliness with was all that I needed.
Unfortunately, that is never the case.
Pretending to love someone long enough to become un-lonely is the cruellest joke I've played on the last three boys I've trapped.
I cling to their comfort like someone starving for mercy.
And then when the lust of sadness lets go of my throat I'm suddenly reminded of how little I actually crave the intimacy I've inherited.

There's always an exception to the pattern.