The light makes me want to run to find the darkness again. Everyone is just going to leave eventually and I just can't be hurt anymore. If I continue this way, I'm going to lose my mind even more. Maybe they were truly right about how I should **** myself. It would be so much better for everyone that way. I can't take not feeling wanted anymore. I try to be so  happy just to please people. I can't live in this world  anymore. I just want to escape and I know they only way. The way that blade touched my wrist the other day. That's my only way out of this this pain. I just wish I could do it right now. I will finally be with the people I have lost. I will finally be free from all the pain everyone causes. No one can keep these things away from me anymore. I found new ways to hurt myself and it is so addicting. I'm just ready to be gone from everything. That's why I stay alone and never want to talk. They hurt me without even thinking about it. I hear the things they say and it hurts. I can't even feel the blades sliding across my wrists causing blood to pour out. It's an addicting feeling that I can't get anywhere else. I don't know when my last night will come, but I honestly hope it happens so soon. I can't deal with this anymore. I've tried for far too long to be happy and now I am giving up on trying. So, if this is the last thing I write. I am honestly sorry I can't do better than this. I am sorry that I can't be the person anyone wants me to be. I'm sorry that I am not beautiful or talented in anyway. I'm just a disgrace. I'm sorry for all the pain.