As soon as I
cut the Christmas tree
and the Frasier Fur sap
seeped down my arm
like
viscous honey
enjoying
every
second
out of the jar
I thought of you.

I thought of all the holidays
We will never have
Of all the presents
We will never open
Of all the dinner parties
with close friends
We will never laugh at.

And in this holiday season
when we're suppose to be
Oh so thankful
for what we have
All I can think about
is what I don’t have

anymore.