I will come back to you when I learn how to be alone

I will come back to you when I learn how to stop burying memories of other people inside of you

I will come back with a welcome mat and house warming gifts when I know that I can with confidence call you my home

I still tell my therapist about you every now and then,
Not so much about the trauma anymore,
More so when I’ve cried deep enough to reach the happy thoughts again

When she asks me how I feel about all of it,
I can’t help but think of how many times I kissed you in a row on our first date, or how I fell madly in love with you when you first opened your mouth towards me

I knew trouble was coming, and I knew you were the ticket, but *******, it had been a while since I had used someone as a coffin for my own heartbroken feelings

Your eyes were the perfect kind, the ones such a deep blue that I could feel my phobia of the ocean every time I looked into them

Maybe I was never really looking for a home

Just looking for a place to face my fears