I want to believe the best in you, But I can’t bring myself to do it.
Every time I get close, Every time I give into that cautious optimism -- convincing myself to inch closer and closer to the ledge -- I’m left alone, wondering why I wasn’t enough, or if I did something wrong; Clawing to get back to something that was never even there.
But you seem so good. I’m stuck in your kind eyes + the lightness of your laugh + the way you hold me close and run your fingers through my hair. Your smell is still on my clothes, and I can’t stop smiling. You seem gentle, And kind and smart and brave. You seem like exactly what I’m looking for…
But, they always do. They always say what I want to hear, And they all feel like home, For a little while, Until it isn’t enough anymore... And it’s like nothing ever happened.
Oh God, I hope this is different. I hope you’re different.