i am beautiful noi wish she could see me now,
all sore-thighed and beautiful
under the glow of the flame.
w that i am bandaged up,
i wrap my arms with gauze so my sicknesses can’t escape from the holes and
this makes me beautiful.
you never
said i was and
now i know i am,
i know it.
i know it.

i wonder how often you think of me,
                      i know it
i wonder if you remember me as fragile as i was or if you see me healed up and scarred over
                      i know it
i wonder if you remember the color of my eyes and
                      i know it
the way my hair fluttered in the wind
                      i know it
do you have good memories of me? or are they tainted?
are they cut up and burned like old photographs spilling out of the crevices in your mind, do you regret me?
do you regret loving me?
i buried my hamster in the box you sent me, you lay beside her with your arms crossed and flowers adorning your black hair