from sleep's warm, loving embrace,
left to face the fire in a cold rage
and the impact
he will have on people's lives and choices
are his motives.
let me know in the comments if you can make sense of this :)
when your computer isn't responding
and you hold that button for long enough,
press hard enough,
it turns off completely,
emptied and void.
i wonder if someone's pressing my button right now,
trying to shut me down
like a faulty machine
i won't sleep
i can't sleep
i'm not sleeping.
I'm too afraid of that moment
when you open your eyes,
and watch your dreams crumble around you
into the rubble of reality.
but i hate it,
the stress that i
heap onto myself like an extra serving
high expectations that i know I can't reach
"shoot for the stars", yeah,
but my spaceship light up and fall back down
straight through the clouds
that they said would catch me
and i hate it,
the stress that makes my hands
shake, my heart race, my mind buzz
every smoke, every drink, every kiss
one hundred times worse
and i hate it,
the stress that'll crush me alive
diamond in the rough
nah, i'm just some coal
combusting, all or nothing
to the end.
around november last year I wrote a poem called "under pressure" that had a lot of views and likes and stuff. i changed some parts and this is what i got. i guess i was a piece of coal.
is sorely missed. !
i used to believe life was a rollercoaster that only went U
but now i feel the free fall
i'm not talking about my mind -
that's always been an up and down thing,
a perpetual warzone...
no, i mean actual life -
i used to believe that I had the TALENT, I worked hard enough -
but now I feel the sting of rejection, the pain of failure
not one, but many, constant, unceasing,
a tide of regret washes over me
i wish it would just drown me already
we were so close, we could almost taste
what it felt like to be alive
we started getting out of bed
watching the sun rise out the window
and feeling the hope rise in our heart
began to go out again,
venturing into this great big world,
taking in the sights and sounds of nature
logged back into our accounts,
replied to those worried texts -
and met up with those friends again
but here we are again,
2:26 AM on a tuesday,
desolate and alone
i watched the sun set,
felt nothing but despair,
and i'll be asleep long after it rises again.
this goes out to everyone who's struggling with their mind. i know it's hard to stay home with nobody to talk to except your thoughts. i'd like to believe that it's a two steps forward, one step back, sorta thing. hopefully soon things start looking up again.