I was ready to run away
Far far away I packed my bags today to try to go where I belong
Where do I belong except following the song of a land that is perhaps not my own
I try to run from these sticks and stones but my broken bones keep me here
Crying
Shouting pouting sobbing
I sit with bruised ribs and shortened breath
The depth of my breath is like a canyon or a crater which sooner or later becomes the norm and I’m trapped
Shackled to this life when all I want to do is attack it
It’s impossible
I can’t seem to make myself believe what it means to be worthy
Hurry and save me before these walls cave in on me
These four walls make me feel so tall but at the end of it all I’m small and smaller and the universe expands while I shrink and my existence is very indistinct
I suppose it’s all meaningless
Should I just go and be, I don’t know, something different?
I could live in the mountains by a little Swiss village
With a brittle wood house and a crackling fire place to set the pace for a relaxing time
Full of sublime moments with the one I adore
I implore to leave this wretched area but my anxiety filled hysteria keeps me here
Some days the stress makes my ears ring so loud it’s all I can hear and it appears that I’m not sleeping
Instead I’m thinking and like a teabag steeping in what comes next
Either tomorrow or in ten years I rethink all my dreams and fears and wow does it mess things up
I smile less and worry more about what the universe has in store
I don’t know what comes next
Yet I still hope for the best