I haven’t had this much fun since the accident
It was nice to count the stars above our heads every night instead of the pills she needed to take every day
It felt great to be able to travel by car to Port Jeff and take everything in, then to travel by car and wait at the doctors office to be surrounded by death and the dying
I spent my last twenty on a much needed pedicure instead of junk food- the only type of food she would cry out for in her sleep
It was a blessing to be able to sit down and actually savor the food put in front of me instead of drinking my self thin on weak tea, broth, sherry and pureed goop.
My nose welcomed comforting smells of baked ziti, pumpkin spice and broccoli pinwheels instead of blood sweat and *****
The sky above has been slashed in shades of purples and pinks which is a nice change from all the black and grey i've been looking at lately
The air is filled with music and laughter instead of the coughing wheezing occasional prayer and curses
There is no blaring tv or radio in sight, going on about how the world is going to **** and people are dying by the dozen
No more tsking and clucking only silence and looks of gratitude.
I will always remember this but I wish I could bring something home instead of burying everything
Sometimes in the deep folds of my mind
And other times deep into the ground
Letting it all become one with the earth.