blonde in the
    belly of the beast

and her videos -

sometimes
she just gets me,
riveting -

on the wrong
side of the spectrum...

happiness?
  happiness?!

  the pursuit of
that mundane butterfly
of a feeling?

i prefer anger,
   and on the odd occasion
fear,
   which implies that
i am alert -
  in a heightened state
of consciousness...

plus... you know what
comes with anger
and fear?

sarcasm...
a sarcastic sense of humor...
the old variant
of what physicians
called
the black bile
in melancholics...

i'll take a sarcastic sense
of humor over
happiness...
any day of the week...

happiness doesn't breed
character,
it brings with it character
flaws...
   it's a memory worse
than any unimaginable
memory enslaved
to some unconscious
monster about to be eaten
while blacking out...

happiness is the worst
type of memory,
because it's a nostalgia,
and nostalgia is
a false memory,
a false collective memory...

sure, the music was great
in the 90s...
but sure as **** the times
weren't all that great...
what is great about music
these days?
you hardly hear
the contemporary output,
or at least i don't,
don't know about you.

haven't heard anything new
for a past 5 or so years,
well... apart from the occasional
track.

- with regards to blonde...
come on...
community building,
in England?
    i only speak to one of my
neighbors,
the other neighbor i suspect
killed my cat,
and i'm contesting with my
other neighbor for
being the bigger *******
in this area...
he's currently beating me
attacking everyone
left right and center.