And feeling the adrenaline of an anxiety attack
like swimming through a ball pit
or watching a crack race across a windshield
or waiting for caterpillars to turn into butterflies.
Repeating, we just keep going left.

It's like waking up without make up
from dreams of an ex-lover,
your brother's best friend.
Remembering when you broke his heart.
His eyes turned red like the sunset,
looking around for an Emergency Exit Only sign.

                                  No one believes you,
                     When you say it doesn't make sense anymore.

Like when you stand in between rows of book,
looking for him like it's a game.
With memories of weekends in bed
flashing like lights between elevator doors,
and his dimpled smile.
Sickening you like a sweets overload.

And like him telling you he still wants to be together,
that he loves you like the moon loves the earth.
It's awkward, like holding eye contact with a stranger,
or when the only thing you hear is clicking keyboards
like crunching chips, and all your clothes are *****.

There is no extinction to his love for you.
He will always come back to you like a boomerang.
Forever holding onto your feet,
like a 10-foot shadow monster.

                  And sometimes, when you're in the middle of everything.
                        The only thing you can do is lock all the doors,
                turn up the bass vibrations to hide from the purple lightening,
                        swing from the interrogation light, assault rifle in hand.