The days tease me with sunny skies,
And summer lovers that pass me by,
Their happiness I envy as I grow to deeply hate them,

Reminding me of Summers past when I too roamed carelessly in love,
With a skip to my stride and a twinkle in my eye,
But that all died.
And now I'm just another fading memory in your mind.

The nights are quiet and lonely,
I'm always restless I think of You ONLY,
The nights are just as silent as I am,
Never speak just another mystery just like the night,
And it's at night you come to mind,
I drink, I smoke and write but a remedy I could not find...

I've changed my bedding,
Deleted pictures & threw away this scrapbook of your memory,
Filled with EVERY memory of us,
From concert & movie tickets, county fairs, Thanksgiving wishbones,
I collected all these things & maticulously in timeline order
Made this scrapbook of "NEW" memories in hopes they'd replace all of my bad ones.

But now that too is out of sight along with everything that came from YOU,
I cannot bare to stare at another reminder that is you,
Sweet memories I chuckle to,
Then shortly followed by the salt of tears,
Bittersweet memories aquired in 2 yrs.

The appliances you bought for the home we'll never have,
Saved tv shows and movies that we watched every night,
The empty space in my bed that you used to take up,
The cool breeze brushes my cheek now because you kept me warm at night,

I miss you most during the night,
And close to holidays,
Because I hadn't celebrated anything before you for years on end,
I now avoid ANYTHING that I can put your face to,
See all these things just intensifies my pain,

I crave the warmth of your body In the night,
I choke on unspoken emotions as I hold onto pillows tight,
I miss the scent of your skin,
And the masses of your long dark hair,
The safety of laying on your chest,
And subtle sounds of your breathing,

I'm lonely all the time,
Despite all that are near me,
The days mock me with it's light,
The night's remind me of what I have not,
I've become a biohazard with all the poisons that I ingest,
Trying.. just trying to blur out my loneliness,
Sedate my restlessness so I can sleep again.

I dread grocery shopping used to do that with you,
I rarely ever cook now *** we used to do that too,
I barely sleep,
I never eat,
My body aches from all the weight I shed,
I just wish that I could shake this stinging aching memory of you before I'm dead