i just want to forget you
the way flower petals forget the flower
once they've been plucked
by the hand of
absentmindedness

i just need someone to take me, put me in an empty room
and slap me till i'm blue in the face
till all recollection falls out of  me
and into
the abyss of eternal oblivion
i just need someone to hate me
because i know better than to believe i deserve
anything more than that.

so take me, hit me, hate me, leave me, don't trust me
when i say it hurts
because no one could hurt me more than i hurt myself
so don't trust me
when i smile in response to your compliments
you don't know me, and you probably never will
you don't love me either
even if you think you do
it's all a lie
everything is a lie
so slap me until i forget how
to cry

because i bet you anything even by then,
i still won't feel a thing.