There is no happiness in this situation

In slitting my wrists every night before bed
In wishing I had woken up dead

In pretending like it wasn't all in my head
I know it was all in my head
But I couldn't make the voices stop..

In medical rounds and hospital gowns
In every single missing persons report
And I still haven't been found

In breaking my bones on.. What?
Promises like..forever
Stay with me
Because I can't stand to be alone and I hate being lonely

In chasing down my fears with my favorite *****
In growing up being told I was born to lose.. Everything that I had worked so hard to get so eventually I just quit

In coughing up the pills I begged to stay in my stomach
In spending your life being diagnosed as sick
Diseased messed up in the head

Bipolar schizophrenic OCD
Just take your pick

I can tell you the side effects of every prescription that was supposed to fix me
Only turned me into a zombie

I don't eat..
And either I don't sleep or that's all I do
I don't have any friends outside of school

Can barely leave my room without an anxiety attack
Can't look in the mirror cause all I see is fat

Can't say how I feel cause I sound like a bother
Growing up with a drunk as a father

And a mom who wouldn't leave him despite what you said
The nights he stood by your bed

And spit in your face what a ******* disgrace you grew up to be
I hope you're ******* happy